Audience stunned when Romney's "Kennedy" Moment quickly turns into Romney's "Senior" moment

http://www.time.com/time/politics/article/0,8599,1691319,00.html

There's no words to describe what happened at Mitt Romney's religion speech, because Romney had no word's to describe it himself! Early reports say that the Soon-to-be-President and Dictator, got up behind the podium and just "simply forgot" what he was going to say! It's a common scene in any college or high school speech class. Romney when asked to comment said, "It's like I had this speech all planned out and everything and then I got up there and it was all like 'Bam!' and it was just gone!" Some were saying this could be Romney's "Kennedy" moment, even though Romney's policies and really nothing about him is even close to "Kennedy-esque." We here at TheNewsReport have obtained a copy of the official transcript of the speech, it's short so we will display it unedited:

[Romney approaches the podium, behind him is a with text that says "President's: The real Latter Day Saint's"]

Introducer [Russ]: Here he is Mitt "the shit" Romney. Because He's the Shit!

Mitt: We get it Russ, you're really clever. But thanks anyway! uh........ Well what I came here tonight to speak on is. uhhh......hmm.. well I'll be damned! ... No Muslims in my cabinet!

[The audience cheered and Mitt left the podium]

Early commentators are already saying that Romney's "Senior" moment was one of his best. Conservative columnist Phil Philbanks says, "The move was definitely not traditional, but brilliant all the same. This really will appeal to the American people, it makes him seem stupider, more like one of them."

Other Romney moments of note: Romney's "Hitler" moment, in which he said he wanted to double the size of Git-mo, and Romney's "too much self tanner" moment, seriously Romney you can see the self tan blotches all over your hands. We know it's not real.

Republican YouTube debate confirms that canidate's masturbate to pictures of Ronald Reagan.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/11/28/debate.main/index.html

In a suprising twist of fate there was a Republican YouTube debate. Most canidates thought it was a chance to appeal to the pot smoking drifter crowd, Fred Thompson saying, "aren't stoners like the one people. person. to use the internet? Stoners are the only person to use the internet. Yes I agree" To which all the other canidates nodded in agreement, except Mitt Romney who, didn't want to risk being seen with wrinkles in his neck because, "It might ruin his Ken doll image," a campain manager said.

But seriously, There was something in the air that said these canidates have greatness written all over them. They made it clear that they were willing to bend on every issue possible in order to make the Evangelicals happy.

Canidate Review:
Fred Thompson was a hit! He scored big points when he lifed up a baby that he had physically taken out of the vagina of a teenage girl. After he lifted the baby however, he dropped it on its head, and then made the 13 year old girl take the baby home and raise it. The audience went wild! When asked about Russia, Thompson responded by saying, "I think China is a big problem, NO ABORTION!" The audience started chanting, "FOUR MORE YEARS!"

Mitt Romney said that the real issue in his campain has to do with his teeth, and the commentator said, "Look at this man, isn't he perfect? He looks like he was sculped by Zeus, I think I want to elect him solely based on his looks. Yes. Lets do that!"

Rudy He just goes by his first name now becasue he "Wants people to associate him with the football movie of the same name." Same old story here, he said a lot about 9/11 and everybody thought he was smart becasue he happened to be in a city when terrorists hit it.