New Facebook = New Coke

So the News Report will be coming back soon. I was distracted by starting a company etc... Anyway, we here at TNR are frequent Facebook users, so you can imagine our surprise when we began hearing reports that a "new" facebook had emerged. At first we didn't believe it, but then it happened. New Facebook arrived. So why is it that these big companies, think that their very successful product needs to be updated. New Coke failed. and so will New Facebook. It's clunky and too complicated to navigate. Granted this is a result from Facebook trying to find a way to make money from their platform by incorporating more ads. i.e. If we break up everyones profile into 4 pages then everyone will view 4 pages (with ads) instead of 1 when stalking their ex's. Ultimately this ruins the main draw of Facebook, it's simplicity, the main difference between Facebook and myspace was that Facebook was like a girl you could show your parents and Myspace was like the dirty whore that you occasionally checked out but wouldn't seriously do anything with. It was clean simple and standardized. Now its standardized and kinda clean (looks like a teenagers bedroom with clothes and stuff piled all over) and not at all really that simple. It's like if Apple was like maybe we should "update" the iphone and gave us one of those clunky phones from the 1990's. It's just doesn't make sense, Facebook. you were winning your game, but now you're trying to be myspace. stick with what your good at, or else your sub par profits will be even more sub par, maybe you should just stop overstating them in the first place.

"News Report" Reporters report being reported missing for month.

Hello dear readers, those of you which still exist. I must report that fellow "The News Report" reporters and myself were kidnapped a month ago, and no one reported us missing. I think that the main reason for this is that I am lacking certain assets that would make me an appealing target for the news media. Interestingly enough it's those same assets that make people like "us" so appealing to predators. We here at The News Report met our attacker online. We started talking to him in an internet chat room... He made us feel cool and "neat". Well before we knew it one thing had led to another and we were sending each other suggestive emails and photos. One entitled "Please Report: There are indications your blogger account may be suspended for posting infringing content" was particularly suggestive. At first we didn't like what he was suggesting but then we grew to feel safe around him and thought that he was protecting us. We decided to meet up with him (BIG MISTAKE) at the Wendy's on 55th. Everything started out all right, we sat down and it was cool. We both said "Hi" and then he proceeded to kidnap all of us. and lock us in his basement. We had to miss the holiday's and everything! and no one even left a comment on our The News Report site wondering where we were?! Weren't you worried??????!??!?!

Well we are back now and more bitter than ever!