"News Report" Reporters report being reported missing for month.

Hello dear readers, those of you which still exist. I must report that fellow "The News Report" reporters and myself were kidnapped a month ago, and no one reported us missing. I think that the main reason for this is that I am lacking certain assets that would make me an appealing target for the news media. Interestingly enough it's those same assets that make people like "us" so appealing to predators. We here at The News Report met our attacker online. We started talking to him in an internet chat room... He made us feel cool and "neat". Well before we knew it one thing had led to another and we were sending each other suggestive emails and photos. One entitled "Please Report: There are indications your blogger account may be suspended for posting infringing content" was particularly suggestive. At first we didn't like what he was suggesting but then we grew to feel safe around him and thought that he was protecting us. We decided to meet up with him (BIG MISTAKE) at the Wendy's on 55th. Everything started out all right, we sat down and it was cool. We both said "Hi" and then he proceeded to kidnap all of us. and lock us in his basement. We had to miss the holiday's and everything! and no one even left a comment on our The News Report site wondering where we were?! Weren't you worried??????!??!?!

Well we are back now and more bitter than ever!