A rich person's dog worth more than lives of poor family of 3

http://www.kitv.com/family/14878295/detail.html

HONOLULU, yeah I know you've lost interest already. I mean who cares about islands anyway, the way I see it is, they should go back where they came from. I don't need islands coming in to my ocean and pushing me around! Go to H-E-Double hockey sticks Islanders! You don't even make sense, island people. Okay so I guess some guy on a golf course got his dog stolen! OH MY GOD! This story really needed to make the long journey across the ocean, but wait, there's a twist! I guess the people who stole it killed it and ate it because their family needed to eat. HOW DARE THEY! That guy at the golf course had named the dog after his Caddy! the dogs name was Caddy! I mean seriously I am in total shock that this guy wouldn't just starve his family! Caddy's life was obviously way more important! Now who is the owner going to play catch with! But there is good news! now the guy who stole the dog to feed his family is going to face charges, and with any luck he will end up in jail where they will serve him meals every day! A true Christmas miracle!


.... rest of family will just die I guess. True Christmas Miracle!

Abbott & Costello Write the News

Headline: WHO probes Pakistan's first bird flu death

-I don't know. Who probes Pakistan's first bird flu death?
- I told you. WHO probes Pakistan's first bird flu death.

Comedy writers are on strike. And we can tell.

I want everyone to be very afraid of this bird flu epidemic. You will likely die from it. In fact, to serve the public, I'd like to name a few other things that you are equally as likely to die from: drowning in the shower, toxic wallpaper dye inhalation (hey, it happened to Napoleon), being mauled by a polar bear, choking on a pen top, and freezing to death while attempting to stuff a chicken with snow. My advice? Avoid showering, wallpaper, polar bears, pens, snow, and chicken, especially chicken, and you will not die this holiday season or ever.