Bush writes his true feelings for Kim Jong-il. Slips Note in his locker.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/06/world/asia/06cnd-korea.html?hp

President Bush wrote a letter today to the North Korean leader Kim Jong-il, the two have had a fiery relationship in the press, and as we find tonight they may have an even steamier relationship in private. TheNewsReport has acquired an un-edited copy of the letter that George W. Bush sent earlier today. It is transcribed below, we scanned a copy so you can see the actual letter just click on the image of it to see a larger copy.

Letter:

Dear Kim Kim,

You know... I've been thinking... and well the truth is, I like you, like a lot. We both have so much in commen. We both have big houses and Remember that time I played you in checkers, you won... then we ate popcorn and watched golden girls all night!? That was great, LET'S DO IT Again! I met Betty White last fall and she is just as great in person!
So... my point is. I think we are great for each other. We are both crazy and I know how you really want to take over the world, well so do I. I know the real you... will you please get to know the real me?

I Love You... There I said it.

Will you be with me tonight?

Circle one: Yes/No

XOXO

-Always Yours,
Bushy
-------------
I can go all night....

-END OF LETTER-

No Fat Chicks

Headline: Overweight children face premature heart attacks, strokes

I couldn't believe this when I read it either. To get the full story, I went to Dr. Faux the head of Obese Adolescent Studies at Ivy League University.
The News Report (TNR): Good morning Dr. Faux, thanks for meeting with me.
Dr. Faux: My pleasure.
TNR: Please tell me about your recent studies.
Dr. Faux: We've discovered that children that are obese are likely to suffer premature heart attacks and strokes.
TNR: You don't say.
Dr. Faux: Yes, they are not immune to heart problems at we had originally thought.
TNR: So you're saying these children's bodies react the same way as adults?
Dr. Faux: That's exactly what I'm saying.
TNR: Fascinating. Have you tried any other studies?
Dr. Faux: Well it's still in its beginning stages, but I can tell you this much: like adults, children will bleed if you prick them.
TNR: What color is the blood?
Dr. Faux: I couldn't believe it myself, but it was a reddish color with tones of brown.
TNR: But, wait a minute doctor, I don't mean to call you a liar, but how is that possible? I mean, that is the same color as adult blood. That is a rather strange coincidence. Wouldn't you agree?
Dr. Faux: I'm glad you're sitting down. We believe there may be a connection between adults and children.
TNR: (Faints)

Scientists will further investigate this supposed "relationship" and The News Report will be right there with the story.

In the meantime, I would avoid children because if they bite you, you may become one of them. And, as previously reported, they may be serial killers in disguise.